Tag Archives: questions

This is Why I Get Grey Hairs

Perhaps someone out there can settle a little debate I’ve got going on here. You see, Pte Goof will not allow me to get one of those leashes for Squirt. You know, those kid leashes so the little rascals can’t get away from you. I know, I know, some people really hate these things for various reasons. I certainly wouldn’t want to use it all the time. But there are particular situations where I think one would be just lovely. Like at the beach. I could plunk down close to the water, give him enough leash that he can just get to the edge of the water, and then I could actually relax on the beach rather than spend the entire time corralling Squirt. I’d still be right there, pretty much within arm’s reach, hearing and seeing and supervising, but I could actually sit down. I’d still get up and play with him all the fun games we play together at the beach, but I’d be able to take 10 or 15 minutes to sit and enjoy watching him without him taking off on me. This is just one example of when I think a leash would just make my time so much more enjoyable.

Now. Pte Goof on the other hand. Well, no son of his is going to wear some leash like a tied up animal. I know that quite a few people feel this way. No amount of “But I want to be able to enjoy myself” or “You’re away so often [like all last year until Sept], it gets so tiring to always be the one chasing him” or “It’s not like I’d use it all the time, or that I’d ignore him when I do” will sway him.

But, there is one huge but here. But, he has absolutely no problem making. our. son. dance. for. treats. just. like. his. mom’s. stupid. dog. And I mean just the same. He uses things like grapes and holds them over Squirt’s head and tells him to dance for it. Now how on Earth can he possibly say I’m the one who wants to treat our son like an animal? Not only that, but when I pointed out how that was treating him like an animal, which is exactly why I was forbidden to get a leash, he refused to stop doing it.

Common, someone’s got to agree with me that if Goof can do something so degrading to the poor boy I should be able to buy a little sanity with a leash…?

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Stuck

So… I haven’t been around, but I don’t need to tell you that, you already know that. Here’s the thing. I’m so incredibly stuck for blogging. And it all comes down to this whole anonymity thing. I’ve let my actual online personality and my blogging personality overlap too much. So now I feel too scared to blog because I really don’t know how to blog about certain things going on in my life, while not blogging about things that would open me wide and show (quite plainly) who I actually am.

See I started this blog anonymously for the specific purpose that I could blog about anything or anyone without hurting anybody. I want to be able to complain about my MIL or friends who I am finding frustrating without having to worry that they’re going to find it and be hurt (ok, so my MIL would never in a million years stumble across this blog, but other people in my life just might).  I’ve thought about just coming out and saying “hey, this is me” (A thought that excites me because then I could do things like post cute pics of Little Squirt), but then I think about the things I’ve said about Miss Stiles or my SIL, and the things I feel I might say one day, and then I think twice.

So I choose to remain anonymous, and leave this bit of internet as a safe place for me to talk about anything. But then I can’t really talk about anything because of the overlap that I have allowed to occur. People know things going on in my life, as my ‘real’ self, and I get scared about talking about them here . Scared that people will make the connection (if they haven’t already).

And so silence here and confusion and indecision in my head.

Sorry, this post is kind of a big mess that goes in circles… welcome to my thought process.

Old Friends, or Something Like That

So I have this friend from high school. We had a few classes together throughout our high school careers. I never ever hung out with him outside of school, or even outside of class really, but we got along. We used to flirt like mad (back when I used to flirt with any single guy who would give me the time of day). But he’s well… awkward. Like extremely awkward. He doesn’t quite get social cues. It’s kind of hard to explain.

Anyway, he moved to Guelph, and I haven’t seen him for 3 years, but we talk occasionally on msn. 2 weeks ago he broke his wrist while rollerblading and decided to come home to his parent’s place for a bit since he can’t work and his dominate hand is busted. He insisted that I come out to see him with Squirt since he was in the area. I was hesitant, because although we got along in high school, well to be honest, he’s pretty annoying (I don’t quite get this relationship to be honest with you, in some ways I just can’t stand the guy, but we used to get along so well, and it’s not like he’s changed he’s always been awkward and annoying…)  but he insisted. I was talking to my other bff (I don’t talk about her much on here, but she’s totally the best person ever, and a huge part of my life, she totally deserves her own name here) about this and we wondered how he does it. A few years ago he happened to be in the same province for the summer that she was living in at the time and he totally talked her into driving an hour to see him. Even though she didn’t want to either. Neither of us could figure out how he talks people into these things. I mean, he’s a nice enough guy, it’s not like he’s an ahole or anything, just… well irritating.

So Squirt and I drove the 25 minutes to go see him. I really didn’t want to, but I figured, hey, he’s been bugging me to come visit him in Guelph for like a year now, maybe I can get a visit over with now, and then soon I’ll be moving out of province and it’ll be done.

15 minutes after getting there he started. The tickley, touchy way that we used to behave. You know, back when we were 16 and both single, and it was just silly fun? But we’re not 16 anymore. And I’m not single. It wasn’t like the whole time, just here and there, but It made me so uncomfortable. I’m a 23-year-old mom to a toddler and engaged. I mean, common. But I’m ashamed to admit I didn’t say anything. I certainly didn’t encourage it. I did my best to make it obvious that I wasn’t enjoying it without actually saying it. But I should have. I should have said something. I am engaged for crying out loud. This is no longer appropriate! But, like the chickenshit I am, I didn’t say anything.

He also got mad when I talked about my plans with Pte Goof to likely move to Alberta. He got all pissed off about Pte Goof putting the military ahead of his family. I tried to explain that part of the reason he wants to do well in the military is for his family. I mean sure, it’s partly selfish too because it’s his dream, but obviously when he does well it gives us advantages too. And we decided Alberta was the best for his career. I understand that he’s an old friend and he feels a certain amount of protectiveness or whatever for me, but really, who the hell is he to get mad because Pte Goof and I decided together to move to Alberta?

So now I feel bad. I feel like I didn’t stick up enough for Goof, and I know I should have said something to this guy about how he was tickling me. So I ask you, how should I have dealt with this? What should I have said without being a total bitch to clue him into the fact that I’m at a very different spot in my life than when we sat at the back of biology and he tickled my knees under the lab counter?