Don’t you hate when you have such an awesome blog post idea in the middle of the night, and you repeat it to yourself like ten times so you’ll remember it, and yet, come morning it’s completely gone, except for the fact that you have that feeling that you had an awesome idea?
Yeah, I hate that too.
So, I’ve decided that I’m going to just sit down at the computer and type and see what comes out, I half expect that in the end it will be garbage and will rot in my drafts folder, but if you’re reading this I must have decided that it was at least ok enough to post (or I just posted it even if it wasn’t ok lol).
When I was quite little, probably about 8 I always thought about how when we paint rooms over and over they get smaller and smaller. My parents never had much money for redecorating, but every few years we kids we allowed to pick out a paint colour and we’d paint our rooms. My room went through about 5 different pinks before I went with a really pretty lilac colour that didn’t change until I moved in with Pte Goof and my little brother moved into that room and painted it dark blue. (I have twin brothers, have I ever mentioned that?). Anyways, as a kid this painting making a room smaller thing was something that I thought of quite a bit. I was pretty silly and was all convinced I’d drop that knowledge on an adult one day and they’d be all impressed that I had come up with such brilliance.
Then one day commercials were on TV for Seinfeld reruns. And there was Kramer, spouting off my theory! I knew from then on that if I ever shared this theory with anyone, they would assume that I had gotten it from Seinfeld! They wouldn’t think I was some brilliant prodigy, but just some kid who watched tv. Like there aren’t millions and millions of them! I was so mad!
It still bugs me a little bit. I don’t really know why, probably just leftover indignation from my childhood self.
Well there you have it folks. Probably the randomest and dullest story ever written, but I’m going to hit publish anyway…
So, ever since I posted that I thought that I was done with this blog I’ve had that itch. If you blog you know that one that I’m talking about. The itch that makes one want to blog in the first place. So, I’m going to see where this takes me. I’m not going to pressure myself. If I don’t feel like blogging I won’t. Simple as that. I won’t feel bad about it if I’m away for a while (ok, well I’m sure I’ll still feel bad, but I won’t let it get to me so badly that I feel like I simply can’t sit down and write).
When I do feel like blogging I will. I think I’m going to stick more with little snippets rather than long posts. Just seems to suit my mood lately . I know that much of my lack of blogging has come from not being sure what to share and what not to share, but also from the fact that I feel like unless I write a long(ish) post, what’s the point? Focusing on shorter snippets will solve both those problems as I’m less likely to over-share in a short post, and if I’m only planning on shorter posts, I won’t feel bad about not writing long ones. (Mind you, who knows how long that will last, next week I could feel like writing entire novellas every time I sit down haha).
So, we shall see where this leads.
So I just realized yesterday that my blog will be turning one tomorrow! (which, by the way, I’m still not sure what I’m going to do to celebrate that… I’m open for suggestions). Because I realized this I took a little trip down memory lane and read a few of my very first posts. This is what struck me. Holy crap, Pte Goof and I are doing so much better! I mean, we’re still having a little trouble with things. We’re both hot headed and stubborn, but wow, when I started this blog I was almost at my whits end with things. Really, that’s why I started this blog. I just couldn’t handle all the stress and didn’t feel like I had anybody to confide in.
This all got me thinking. Maybe that’s why I’ve been so bad with the blogging lately. I don’t need it like I used to. I mean, I still have tons of troubles and stresses, and this blog can still be a wonderful outlet, but I’m not quite so ready to crumble as I was when I started this a year ago. This makes me a little sad. Obviously it’s a good thing if my relationship with Goof isn’t nearly as bad and strained as it was back then, but I don’t want to out grow this little peice of internet I love so much.
I guess I need to think about what I want this blog to be now. It’s no longer about how Pte Goof doesn’t want to marry me. I no longer feel like I can share just anything. So what is this blog now? Why do I still need this in my life?
I’m not sure.
I’ve never read this blog before, but I may start. This post was passed along to me and I think it’s beautiful.
p.s. I hope to be back soon with posts that are more than a few sentences long!
I seem to be writing and writing drafts these days. Starting bits and pieces that I want to write but don’t have the time to finish. Or I can’t find the right words. The good news is that I’m actually writing more than I have been in a very long time, but the bad news is I have posted less… (although a little more the past couple days).
But the bug has bit me once more, so hopefully you guys will start to see all these random things sitting in my drafts folder out here. I love how this blog just lets me get out whatever is sitting on mu shoulders that day. As Jess always says, it’s way cheaper than therapy!