It’s Your Choice

Dear Friends,

This is the absolute most annoying phrase to me. This phrase makes me so mad these days. It’s usually preceded by ‘Yeah but’…

Listen friends (a little aside, this post is directed at a few of my friends I know in person, all you lovely bloggy ladies have been nothing but sportive), I know that I chose this. I know that I made the decision to have Pte Goof away all the time, and to have to move God knows where, and to have Squirt hardly see him, and to have to face future deployments, and all the endless list of grievances. I know that I made that choice (even if I was kind of tossed into it).

But the fact that I chose this doesn’t make it much easier (I have to admit had I been forced to do this not of my own free will I’d have a harder time yet). It wasn’t like I said to Pte Goof, ‘You know what would be awesome, if you knocked me up the buggered off to join the army’. And sometimes I need to complain about it. Sometimes I just need you to listen and nod along and say ‘Yeah, it must suck’.

I know it must be annoying and redundant to have me complain once again about how much I miss him. Or how hard it is to parent Squirt all by myself. Or how much I hate the drive to go see him. Or how I’m so not looking forward to moving wherever the army tell me. Or how expensive it is for him to come home. Or, or, or. I’m sure it gets tedious at times. But I listen to you tell me for the millionth time how much you want to loose weight. Or how much you wish you had a girl/boyfriend. Or how you can’t stand living with your parents one more day. I could just say, ‘well that’s your choice’ and dismiss you like you do me. I could say ‘get your ass to a gym’ ‘get out and meet people once in a while’ ‘then move out already’ and tell you it’s your choice to be where you are. But I don’t. I listen and say ‘oh yeah, that sucks’ because that’s sometimes what you need to hear.

I don’t need to be reminded that my own choices got me here. I know that. I know that everything going on in my life is what Pte Goof and I have made decisions about. I know this. You don’t need to tell me.

Kindest Regards,


Sorry about the negative post. I had intentions of writing about something else entirely until last night once again when I was just looking for a little sympathy all I get from my friends is ‘yeah, but, it’s your choice’. -F


4 responses to “It’s Your Choice

  1. 😦 oh suckage. The lack of support and the dealing with your man being far away. I can’t imagine trying to raise children with Matt in the army…it would be so hard. And you love him, so its not like a “choice choice”.


    • Oh exactly. You’ve got it. I mean, it’s my choice in that I could leave the man I love who loves me back, and the father of my child to not have to deal with the army. At least you lovely internet ladies have my back 🙂

  2. apandorabox

    kind of a jerk your friend
    i don’t think you chose your boyfriend/fianceé’s career…
    sometimes people don’t measure their own words at all

    • I know. Worst part is that it’s not just one friend. Sometimes it feels like it’s all my friends (which it’s not, just a few). And trust me. If the choice was mine he wouldn’t be in the army. But it’s his choice and it’s what makes him happy and gives him fulfillment. But like I said to Jess, at least I have all you wonderful friends giving me cyber support 🙂

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