Old Friends

So I have this friend. Well, maybe it would be more accurate to say I had a friend. We were super close in high school. Like crazy close. We went to youth group together. Always sat together if we were in the same class. I got her a job at the first farm I worked at. We loved working together. We shared so much with each other, there are many things she knows about me that even Miss Stiles doesn’t know. And there are many things I know about her. We were inseparable for a while.

We ended up at the same university (we did not plan this, it just happened). It was funny, because we were both living on campus (albeit at opposite ends, a bit of a hike) but we still saw less of each other. We were busy, classes, new friends, adjusting to life away from our parents, partying (on my part), praying (on hers). We still saw each other and got along really well.

This time in my life (as it is for many people) was when I started transitioning away from my religious roots. Throughout high school, I had been very religious, there were people who nicknamed me ‘churchy’.  This friend had been very accepting of my wavering ways. I never felt judged for drinking and partying, or not always going to church. We were still very open with each other. She knew all the ‘bad’ unchristianly things I was doing, and I knew the small deviances she partook in.

Then I decided that I had no idea what I wanted to do and school was a huge waste of money unless I had some direction. So she went back to school (equally direction-less, but her school was being paid for) and I went back to work full time. And as is so common we drifted. Neither of us are very good at keeping in touch, but when she came home to visit we’d sometimes get together and it felt like nothing had changed. She decided to delete her facebook, and msn, as they were too distracting from her studies. So the only way to talk to her was email, and I am horrible with email. This was probably 3 years ago…

Then I got pregnant. I don’t actually remember her reaction when I told her. She already knew I was having premarital sex. It didn’t seem to bother her. We did get together once when I was about 3 months pregnant. She was just a patient and accepting as always.

She then went on an exchange to Europe. She called me once, just after Pte Goof and I moved in together. Squirt was born while she was away. I never heard a thing from her. No call, no eamil, nothing. She knew. Her mom called her to tell her.

She came back to Ontario. Still nothing. Personally, if my very close friend had a baby while I was on another continent you can bet that would be one of the very first stops I’d make when I got home!! I kinda figured she was being her usual self, she’s a little antisocial at times (like deleting any way to get a hold of her).

So why am I telling you all this? Why now am I mentioning this? Well I found out yesterday evidently she’s back on facebook. I had no clue. She has it set so nobody can find her. She’ll only be your facebook friend if she asks you first. That doesn’t surprise me. Or that she didn’t ask me. What suprises me is how much it hurts that she didn’t .

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5 responses to “Old Friends

  1. may be you could call in to her house, ask how her trip went… invite her over…
    maybe she is scared to get close to you because she doesn’t know how to approach you, i know i would have this feeling with a friend whose life had turned so different than mine…

    try being the bigger person and giving her the chance to try an be friends again

    • this is true. Thank-you for saying this, I was just feeling sorry for myself… I can’t actually call her right now because she’s not home, but I should just shoot her an email… Way to call me out on my crap (:

  2. That really sucks. Sorry to hear that. 😦
    I hope you can work something out. I know how it feels to loose a close friend. And it would suck even more now that your excited to have a new baby in your life.

  3. Awh, that sucks so much 😦 she doesn’t sound worth it though…you deserve better friends than that!! xoxo

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