Big Sigh

So I had a bit of a break down yesterday.

You see, naturally the internet was covered in Remembrance and Veteran’s Day stuff. Which is good. It’s important for people to pay their respects. To take the time to remember. But it all got to me. People talking about the sacrifice, the soldier’s we’ve lost, the families stuck at home.  And it made me think. And I just got thinking I don’t want to do this. This whole military life. I don’t want to do it. I can do it… I WILL do it, but I don’t want to. I don’t want to move all over. I don’t want the military to dictate when I can and can’t see Pte. Goof. I don’t want to have to let him go over seas for months at a time. I don’t want to sit at home while he’s over seas scared at any second that I’m going to get the call. I don’t want to do any of it. I don’t want to share my Love with my country. Call me selfish, but that’s how it is.

I finally had to force myself off the computer. To stop myself from sitting there and bawling while I wallowed in self pity. The thoughts were simply not helpful. Why me? Why did I have to go fall for this boy? Why did this boy have to me such a military nut? But even after I got off the computer I couldn’t stop crying. I cried so hard. All because I don’t want this. I don’t want to be a military wife.

I mean, I will do it. I have to. I love Pte Goof and he loves the military. I just don’t want to.


3 responses to “Big Sigh

  1. i just found your blog and read it… i really think that it’s inspiring to write (eventough i haven’t started my own blog yet)

    this post almost made me cry… you see, i’m not canadian, nor american… well… actually i am american… but southern american (from argentina)… and we aren’t currently at any wars (thank God)… besides, in my country the military has done so many bad things that it’s seen as something bad to join it. The reality is that I honestly don’t know how I would deal with all of these that is happening to you… I don’t think I’d be able to do so…

    well… i guess my comment may not make a lot of sense… but i want you to know that now you have one more reader 🙂

    ps: do tell how you met Pte Goof, how you fell in love

    • Well thank you! It so exciting that I could inspire somebody! If you’re thinking about writing a blog all I can say is do it! There’s a thousand different reasons why but do it! I’d been toying with the idea of one for a long time and I’m so glad I finally did! Let me know if you do, I’ll be your first reader!
      And thank-you also for your support. Just knowing that you feel for me is wonderful 🙂
      As for my story about meeting Pte Goof, it’s not a great one, but I’ll write it for sure 🙂
      And if you don’t mind me asking, how did you find my blog?

  2. I honestly have no idea how i got here… I think I was on another girl’s blog and you had left a comment

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